So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
