I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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