i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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