Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize