i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
