So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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