About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
