Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
