my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
