We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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