I want to make a zoo with you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im holly from the hills drunk
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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