Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
