if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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