I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize