im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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