You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
