i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize