you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
