How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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