Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
