Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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