hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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