I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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