we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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