we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
