I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
