That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
