we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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