last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
barbara walters just said penis...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
