Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
