so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize