Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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