So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
