im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
