beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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