We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
