I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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