Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
