I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
