i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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