she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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