I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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