What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Boobs speak an international language.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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