That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
