my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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