Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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