i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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