Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
