I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
where am i from again
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
