Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
third nipple confirmed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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