I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
