I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
