My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish i was in the wii world.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
