he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
