yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
