so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
