Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I will pee on everything he values.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
