WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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