You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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