We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
