If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize