I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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