I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
