Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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