She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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