Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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