My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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