If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
