found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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