...so i touched it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
