the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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