Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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